The only Tumblr documenting the Great Beard-off of 2012

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The Great Beard Timelapse for the Great Beard-off 2012

Great Beard Survey 2012

Beard Poll

Who has won? YOU DECIDE!

Day 30 - TV Beard (in super low quality)

Day 30 - TV Beard (in super low quality)

Day 27 - Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Banana Beard!

Day 27 - Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring, Banana Beard!

THE FIRST CHALLENGER!

Day 24 - Luchador Beard 

Day 24 - Luchador Beard 

  • Question: What is the weirdest thing you've found in your beard? - supercalifragilisticxpialidocius
  • Answer:

    Being part of the Bearding Community is fairly new to me. I can’t imagine the crazy findings people like Myq O’Connor have found in their beards, I can only tell you mine. It happened not too long ago but I remember it as if it were happening right this moment…
    I was sitting there eating some gummy bear vitamins for dinner. Making sure I get enough vitamins daily is of the upmost importance to growing a great beard. People often forget this simple fact and end up with shameful beards. As the delicious vitamin neared my kisser I felt something move in my beard. I reached in and you’ll never guess what I found.
    Tonight was very clear, Peter Cetera was in my beard (just to be clear, it was post Chicago Peter Cetera, not bassist Chicago Peter Cetera). 
    Great Glory of Love!” I exclaimed. “What brings you to my beard Mr. Cetera?” 
    “Josh,” he says, “I’ll always fight for your honor.” 
    I reached my hand to my face and gently removed a tear. “Thank you, Mr. Cetera, but I have to ask. Why?”
    Only Love Knows Why" and with a piano ballad he faded into the night. 
    To this day I haven’t been able to pull an 80’s Adult Contemporary solo artist from my whiskers. It was a rare and magical moment and he and I shan’t forget. I’ll remember his words when I’m doubting myself or the Next Time I Fall.

    God Speed, Peter Cetera. God Speed.

Day 22 - Shower Beard

Day 22 - Shower Beard

Day 21 - Rage Quit Beard

Day 21 - Rage Quit Beard

"To beard, or not to beard, that is the question:
Whether ‘tis Nobler on the face to suffer
The outrageous manhood of reaching beardom,
Or live with scruff and be unburdened by itch,
And by opposing end them: cleanly shaven.
No more; and by a razor, to say we shave
The Beard off, and the thousands of tiny hairs
That Face is warmed by? ‘Tis an understanding
Devoutly to be wished. To itch to shave,
To shave, perchance to Trim; Aye, there’s the cream,
For in that instant shave, what relief comes,
When we have suffered this great mortal itch,
Must give us peace. There’s no more beard.
This makes Bearding of so lumberjack life:
For who would bear the Itch and Scratch of beard,
The Clean Shaven wrong, the long-bearded man’s Thrashing,
The pangs of unbearable Itch, Beard’s Law,
The uselessness of hair conditioner
That patient merit of the disgruntled beard,
When he himself might shave his stupid face
With a Gillette Razor? Who would I beat,
To beard and itch under a growing beard,
But that the dread of being beardless,
To not grow a beard, much like a child
Before puberty, still in Middle-school,
And makes us separate from the cool kids,
Than accept us as individuals.
Thus Beards makes Lumberjacks of us all,
And thus the Shade hue of Five O’Clock Shadow
Is riddled o’er, with the sign of Shaving,
And weeks of beard-growing gone in a quick swipe,
With this beardlessness Lumberjacks turn awry,
And lose the Great Beard-off 2012 now,
Rough Lumberjack? Beard made by the Heavens
Be my light to Beard Glory."

- William Shakesbeard

Day 19 - White Ayurvedic and Samurai Chai Mate Tea Beard

Day 19 - White Ayurvedic and Samurai Chai Mate Tea Beard

Day 17 - Fancy Beard

Day 17 - Fancy Beard

Day 15 - Botanical Beard

Day 15 - Botanical Beard

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It has been nearly four days since my last post… OR HAS IT? What’s that, Beardlr? I’ve been posting pictures the past two days? But how can this be? My loyal Beardlr reader (I only know of one) said that I haven’t been keeping up with my bearding and the Great Beard-off 2012. What my “reader” didn’t realize was that by participating in the Great Beard-off 2012, the Old Beard Kai has awakened my Sleeping Beard Powers (SBP). 

“But Josh, isn’t that similar to Season 15, Episode 262 of Dragonball Z (An Unlucky Break) when Gohan’s sleeping powers were awakened by the Old Kai and he becomes Ultimate Gohan?”

SILENCE! In a normal post I’d have cut you off when I felt that the average reader understood what you were referencing but in this case I’m certain that, despite the overabundance of exposition that I allowed you to articulate, only a select few will truly get that remark. If I had an audience of readers I’d be fearful of alienating them, however, seeing that I have A reader, I’m not terribly worried about it.  

With my new SBP unlimited power courses through my physiognomy. I am the master of space AND time! I bend it to my will. I can post anything from ANY time period without creating a paradox in the space-time continuum. You may think that I didn’t post anything for four days but my Beardlr says differently. In a courtroom with a jury of my peers I’d win this case and you’d go to Internet jail (That’s right, I capitalized the “I” in “Internet.” AP Style Mother F***ERS!). 

OBJECTION!

To prove my amazingness and my SBP powers I think I’ll make a post that took place BEFORE I WAS BORN! 
“Is… is that even possible? You’re going to create a space-time anomaly and we’ll all peris-”
SILENCE! No mortal, nonbearder can comprehend the complexity of the continuum cohesively without concordantly competing and completing this competitive competition. 

Where we’re going, we don’t need razors…


Sp@ceT1m3#Anomaly%6DETECTED