The Great Beard Timelapse for the Great Beard-off 2012
It has been nearly four days since my last post… OR HAS IT? What’s that, Beardlr? I’ve been posting pictures the past two days? But how can this be? My loyal Beardlr reader (I only know of one) said that I haven’t been keeping up with my bearding and the Great Beard-off 2012. What my “reader” didn’t realize was that by participating in the Great Beard-off 2012, the Old Beard Kai has awakened my Sleeping Beard Powers (SBP).
SILENCE! In a normal post I’d have cut you off when I felt that the average reader understood what you were referencing but in this case I’m certain that, despite the overabundance of exposition that I allowed you to articulate, only a select few will truly get that remark. If I had an audience of readers I’d be fearful of alienating them, however, seeing that I have A reader, I’m not terribly worried about it.
With my new SBP unlimited power courses through my physiognomy. I am the master of space AND time! I bend it to my will. I can post anything from ANY time period without creating a paradox in the space-time continuum. You may think that I didn’t post anything for four days but my Beardlr says differently. In a courtroom with a jury of my peers I’d win this case and you’d go to Internet jail (That’s right, I capitalized the “I” in “Internet.” AP Style Mother F***ERS!).
To prove my amazingness and my SBP powers I think I’ll make a post that took place BEFORE I WAS BORN!
“Is… is that even possible? You’re going to create a space-time anomaly and we’ll all peris-”
SILENCE! No mortal, nonbearder can comprehend the complexity of the continuum cohesively without concordantly competing and completing this competitive competition.
Where we’re going, we don’t need razors…